Winter Fog & Thunder

Opthamologist Drishti

Recently I underwent opthamology testing spread over two appointments. Where I had little experience with eye exams I had a considerable amount of resistance to the idea of anything touching my eyes, whether a puff of air, drops, fingers or an instrument. Everything was fine until the last examination where the opthamologist used a mirrored device that actually came in contact with each eye ball for several minutes. Oh boy. Well, I recruited drishti (gazing) practice from hatha yoga. It all came back: gazing at a spot on a wall during asana or seated for concentration (dharana) gazing at a candle and an orange dot. Instead of the previously mentioned points of focus it was the side of the doctor's ear as he suggested. It worked! I didn't blink but breathed, steadied my awareness on the eye sensations and released tension elsewhere in my body.

We are indeed sort of programmed to seek out the human figure and face but is there not the profile of a person looking to the right within the lit hole?

Patterns On Fallen Wood

Each season offers the potential for awareness. It was the low winter sun of late afternoon and the snow on the ground that brought out the pattern in this fallen wood.

Knowing What We Want

A wise mentor has been helping me to see how we humans struggle to really know what we want. Oh how easy it is to see the lack of clarity in others as the strong inner judge chatters away! That aside I of course know it's better to see and work with the habit within myself.

There seems to be a cycle: a declaration is made about a particular thing, then the mind turns over the original declaration, sometimes completely, in order to handle attitudes such as fear, laziness, pride, ego,  or psychological pattern. That's behavior in opposition to intention and values. Tony Robbins calls this self-sabotage. Indeed it is!

Information gained from spiritual study can feel like a film of oil floating on top of a greater amount of water. It does not and cannot penetrate into the depth, especially if there is a strong current of subconscious material to contend with. Sometimes (oftentimes) studying our trigger and behavior patterns is essential to move out of old patterns, to stir things up in order to allow for the growth potential as wisdom meets our uniqueness. What source material our "flaws" can be!