Loneliness or Aloneness: finding solitude in oneness by Bruce Bischoff
In today's world, many of us live alone for numerous reasons. Sometimes we share our lives with others and still feel painfully alone.
The challenge is to work through any loneliness or aloneness we feel with compassion for one's self. If we can view the process as the soul's longing to reconnect with itself, we allow ourselves to grow in extraordinary ways.
Solitude is an opportunity to discover the strength of our own intrinsic wholeness. For some, it is the time we set aside consciously from the chaos outside us to uncover and search out our authentic self.
Henry David Thoreau said it beautifully: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover I had not lived."
So how can we minister to our own needs?
Tips for Self-Care
Be quiet. Try being completely still for a specific amount of time each day. Truth will often come in this space of silence. This "stopping" or spending time alone with yourself will ultimately allow you to become more comfortable with who you really are and help you to access your own inner wisdom.
Be open. The greatest of experiences come in many forms. Develop a nonjudgmental attitude so you are open to the infinite possibilities within any activity, whether it is washing dishes or watching a basketball game.
Be receptive to your feelings. They are valid whatever they may be. Allow yourself to go beyond the initial feeling and get in touch with the feeling underneath the feeling (your initial reaction). Getting in touch with your core self is worth the discovery of your uniqueness. This can be done through any creative activity - drawing, sketching, etc. Journaling also can provide an opportunity to record your feelings and for reflection.
Be playful. Solitude can bring you joy. Discover what brings you joy and practice, practice, practice. Celebrate with music, dancing or just laughing for the pure fun of it.
Be in nature. Take a walk. Gather flowers. Lie under a tree and feel the cool breezes on your forehead. Touch the Earth. Acknowledge your connection to nature.
Practice gratitude. At the end of each day, be aware of each blessing and record at least five of them. Try this for one week. It will be an eye-opening experience. You may even wish to continue. Do it. You will appreciate more in your life.
Choose to be positive. As the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." If you are going to worry about something, make sure it has happened first. Being positive is a moment by moment decision to empower yourself in recognizing life's possibilities. Invest in yourself in a sense of purpose and worth.
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