At 15 it was time to decide if I wanted to be confirmed in the church I attended all my life. In a rare (perhaps one of only two) religious discussions with my mother I told her I did not consider myself a believer. Her only response was, "All good Christians have periods of doubt." The floor being opened to spirituality as a process was all it took for me to go ahead with confirmation. This church and the congregation were already a big part of my life and happened to be grounding and fun but if I were told I had to believe in order to be confirmed that would have been a deal breaker.
Later in my 20's I read how a Zen Buddhist only needs a questioning mind and Zen Masters say only doubt enables great awakening. Doubt offsets complacency.
Since my teens I have enjoyed the mystery, the mystical, a number of perceived "religious experiences" and periods of more of the mundane where I feel a little less connected to Spirit. Maybe it's my personality or church of origin but I don't feel guilt if my dedication or belief soften. If doubt enters it's simply something to note and I recall my mother's words.
As powerful as that conversation has been for me my mother has no recollection of it!
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